George Bush is the Smartest Man on the Planet?

Last week General Patreus gave congress a sobering report about the state of the war in Iraq. Not only has the Iraqi government failed at nearly every task in securing itself, but the General could not say if the war made America safer, the sole purpose for the military to be engaged in any conflict. A common theme used by the White House, and echoed by the General, was that if we leave Iraq now, as is, Iran will step in and fill the void. Each week we've been fed more reports about Iran. They are building a nuclear weapon. They are supplying Iraqi insurgents with weapons to kill Americans. And they are possibly working with Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. It would seem that, rather than defending the war in Iraq, the White House is laying grounds for another war with Iran. They have all but declared the Iranian army a terrorist organization. And each time Iraq or Afghanistan is mentioned, Iran is quickly inserted into the conversation. It would seem the White House is bungling itself into another conflict in a tense region, with an overly-stressed military, and an unsupporting electorate. But what George Bush has really been doing is the culmination of a 4 year plan to sucker the French into a war with Iran.

It started in 2003 when America invaded Iraq without UN (French) approval. They were insulted. Called us war mongers. We countered with freedom fries. After the invasion, the French asked to be a part of the rebuilding process. We told them to fuck off, then completely dismantled the Iraqi Army, Police Force, and national government. The American image was tarnished, we were seen as incompetent, imperialist bullies, but the French were emasculated.

The second part of the plan was to bolster Iran. A lot of saber rattling from the US gave Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the attention he needed to seem a threat. And exercising diplomacy instead of carpet bombing showed the world that this is a threat America was not prepared to take on. This opens the door for the French. They've been humiliated and ignored by the President. They've had thousands of years being the rude, arrogant assholes of the world, and now the Yankees come in and kick them to the curb. Well, they're not going to take it anymore. If America is too cowardly to take on Iran, the French will show them how it's done.

That's the plan, and it seems to be working. Sunday, French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner said that the world should be prepared for war if Iran goes nuclear. However, proving that there is still at least one guy in France still without his balls, Prime Minister Francois Fillon said everything needed to be done to prepare for war.

Screw that, I say. France needs to get that war machine going. Have some pride. Go shoot someone. Because if this isn't the Bush plan, if we really are the incompetent bullies we appear to be, and George Bush really isn't the smartest man on the planet, then we're in for a lot of shit. So, please. France. Beat us to the punch. Show the world you really are a bigger bunch of assholes than we are.