Vote With Your Dollar

Like a lot of people, I at one time stole a lot of music and movies. It didn't seem like much of a big deal, the artist wasn't really losing that much money and I would pay to seem them in concert. And I wasn't the only one. Most of my friends did the same thing to the same artists. What we never considered at the time was the music that was being bought and the people who bought it. I'm talking about all of the crap you hear on most mainstream pop radio stations. I'm talking about all of the crap you hear on most mainstream rock stations. And I'm talking about all of the country music you hear on most country music stations. While my friends and I were blaring our stolen music, laughing about how we screwed the man, we were shoving the big floppy dildo of irony up our own asses.

You see, my generation created what was arguably some of the best, freshest music since the 60s. We had Nirvana, Jane's Addiction, The Pixies, Nine Inch Nails, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, Tool, and so many, many more. And for a brief while, Rock under the guise of "alternative", was king. It was a period of time where record companies couldn't sign bands fast enough to satiate the hungering masses who had been starved on a diet of hair bands and pop singers. But then things changed, as they tend to do. There was a saturation of similar acts. The record companies and the media both over-hyped "Alternative" and "Grunge", not realizing that people wanted good music, not labels. The people who bought Nevermind were the same people buying Nothing's Shocking and Pretty Hate Machine. Those were three vastly different forms of music. What they had in common was that they were really damn good. Then the Internet boom came, and we the fans finished what the record companies and Rolling Stone Magazine had started.

It's not that by stealing music we forced artists into day jobs. I think the first new CD I stole was The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails. Since then NiN has released two full length Cd's, a remix CD, and toured the world a few times over. And they (Trent Reznor) are still kicking ass. But by not purchasing the music and not requesting it on the radio, we have neglected our most important duty as fans: the duty of advocacy. Not just advocacy for a particular artist or style, but an advocacy for quality. A record companies sales are listed in dollars and units moved, not star ratings. You can rant all you want about how some musician or singer is total crap, or how another is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but if it's not written in cash it doesn't mean a thing. They don't care. The record companies don't care what sells, so long as it sells. The media doesn't care what they push, so long as someone buys it. And frankly, most of the public doesn't care, so long as they've got what everyone else does.

Every time I downloaded pirated material, I was costing my favorite bands a fan and customer in the eyes of the Record Companies. With each customer lost, the Record Company has less reason to support an act. By stealing music I was effectively telling the Record Companies to stop putting out the music I like. In fact, I was telling them that anything I might like I probably wouldn't buy. So the past few years of crappy music, has more or less been my fault.

Where is this going? Is this a rant to convince you of the evils of music piracy. No. Unfortunately, that battle has probably been lost. And for most people, I encourage them to steal music, because they're probably listening to bullshit anyway. What I'm talking about here is voting with your dollar. Every CD you buy is a message to the record company that someone values their product. The more people who buy it, the more value it has. Every time you steal a song or a CD you're no different than someone who doesn't vote during a government election. We have the government we do, the war we do, because the only people to show up to the polls were Brittney Spears fans, Michael Bay fans, and Country music fans. Every time you steal music or movies you have effectively silenced yourself. You've given up the ability to declare what is good. The only votes being counted are the ones paid for at a retail location or movie theater.

If you're satisfied with a Bush-Cheney government, radio stations that play Paris Hilton "songs", and crappy remakes of the few decent movies Hollywood has produced, then by all means, keep doing what you're doing. However, if you're like me and sick of crap being sold to us in every facet of our lives, then use your voice. Vote with your dollar. The best way, the only way, to say the pop flavor-of-the-month sucks is to buy a Tool CD.

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John Belushi Must Die

In 1982 commedian/actor/writer/musician John Belushi died from an overdose of heroin and cocaine. He was 33 and not even close to his peak of stardom. His death sent shock waves through America, which only had a handful of SNL episodes and four movies with which to remember him. Two decades later people are still asking "Why not Robin Williams?" Yet, one of the effects of his death was the casting of Bill Murray as Dr. Peter Venkman in the movie Ghostbusters-- probably the single greatest justification for the death of anyone, ever.

Ghostbusters has been making audiences laugh for more than twenty years. The catchy theme song, the T-shirt ready anti-ghost symbol, and hundreds of quotable one-liners have turned this film from box office smash, to cult classic, to a true piece of Americana. But an amazing piece of Hollywood lore is that the role of Peter Venkman, the main character of the film, was written for John Belushi. True, as Dan Aykroyd conceived the role, Belushi and not Murray was intended for the wise ass, dead pan hero.

But fate, or perhaps someone else, had other plans. On March 5th, 1982 Belushi, Robin Williams, and Robert Deniro had a little party time. Williams and Deniro would leave, but Belushi would be found dead from a lethal does of H and coke.

One has to wonder (and many probably have) what would have happened had Belushi lived. What would the world be like with a Ghostbusters starring John Belushi. Perhaps Robin Williams hogs all of the speedballs, Belushi lives, and the world is free of Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, RV, Patch Adams, etc.. Yet, I think the world would be a sorrier place. As good as Belushi was, Peter Venkman was a role Murray was born to play. Murray's star was rising on its own with the success of Stripes and Caddyshack. But his performance in GB not only helped fashion one of the great modern American comedies, it made possible a body of work that has continually grown impressive.

Belushi had to die.

Would I, if I had the power now, bring him back to life? Just to be clear, I'm talking about a Jesus-like supernatural power to raise a human being from the grave and restore him to perfect health. But at a price? The price to bring Belushi back, to exercise this biblical power, and to restore a family a lot son and brother-- he must star in Ghostbusters. Murray is out. Think on this and its implications. A classic possibly ruined. Bill Murray never catches on and pursues a golf career. We lose a treasure trove of great performances. Two years later Belushi is burned to death smoking crack.

No, I would not bring Belushi back. He stays dead, his family still mourns, but the world rejoices. And I think God would back me up on this one.

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The Secret Grace

Tomorrow is the 100th birthday of John Wayne. Walmart is calling it an anniversary on their dvd displays, which I like. Birthdays are so "me, me, me". An anniversary suggests that the event is a communal one. It is an event that we all share and celebrate. I think from now on I will stop having birthdays. Instead, each year I will have an anniversay of the glorious day that I graced the world with my presence. That way, it's not just about me. It's really the worlds day. It's a day you can celebrate, too.

So in the current issue of Time (May 28, 2007) they have a little blurb about three of the Duke's movies. One in particular struck me as idiotic, and just shows how little Time thinks of John Wayne Anniversary Day. The caption they have for The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance concludes with "This is pure Duke, showing a secret grace only the audience could see." Gee, why not say "This is pure Duke, showing a secret grace only people with eyes could see." Or "This is pure Duke, showing a secret grace only people watching this movie could see. Everyone else would see trees, cars, or whatever else they might be looking at at that particular time not The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance". Maybe the writer meant "This is pure Duke, showing a secret grace only paying ticket holders could see." And if you somhow saw The Secret Grace of the Duke outside a movie theater, some Hollywood goon would break your kneecaps and steal whatever cash you had on you.

I am just trying to imagine a secret grace that anyone besides the audience could see. I picture planes crashing, cars exploding, and mayhem errupting everywhere anytime someone turns on The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Just as American Airlines flight 2424 begins it's acent from LAX, John Smith puts The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance into his portable dvd player, thus causing The Secret Grace of The Duke Effect. Suddenly, a rough and tough Cowboy miracullously appears in the cockpit sending the pilots into a panic and the airplane straight into the ocean.

So on John Wayne Anniversary Day let us all be thankful that this secret grace can only be seen by those watching the Duke's films. For that, I recommend True Grit, Rooster Cogburn, and The Shootist. Rooster Cogburn also stars the Secret Grace of Katherine Hepburn. The Shootist also stars the Secret Grace of Jimmy Stewart. Opie is in it, too.

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