Led Zeppelin Reunites, the Devil Squeels With Glee!

According to Yahoo's music blog, Robert Plant is in talks with guitarist Jimmy Page and bassist John Paul Jones about doing a Led Zeppelin reunion show. Some might recall more than ten years ago Plant and Page got together to record a CD and do a world tour. The move had many people screaming "What about the curse?!?" The curse they referred to was the one that broke Plant's leg, killed his son and drummer John Bonham. As the tragedies fell, one after another, like angels from heaven, it seemed the Dark Lord Satan had come to collect for 10 plus years of rocking. Plant and Page consulted mystical oracles from Aleister Crowley's mage tower in Scotland, and with the blessing of the Zephyrs, dissolved the band. For his own protection, John Paul Jones was never informed.

All seemed well for the survivors of the Zepp. They had made a solemn oath to never rock so hard again, and like the most chaste monk, kept the vow admirably with forgettable solo carreers. Yet the world around them suffered. Global climate change, rampant disease, nuclear proliferation, and terrorism gripped the planet. The people called out for song to cheer their weary hearts, and got R. Kelley pissing on a teenager. It is during these dark times when the Sinister One is most dangerous. In the land of rain and coffee was a golden haired axe-man, who tore the air with his screams and broken guitar strings. The people had a champion, maybe one who would give no quarter to the enemy. But the Lord of Abortions fell upon his weaknesses, and slew him by a temptress' hand.

And the people cried out! The men of Zeppelin could stand it no longer, and chanced a reunion. Robert Plant and Jimmy Page came together once again, drawing together musicians from all over the world to help them rekindle the magic of rock, and heal the world. For his own protection, John Paul Jones was never informed.

It was a chance they were taking. It was a chance the Fell Thing desired; to draw the three together, to reseal the oath made so long ago upon a moon-lit crossroad. Yet a duo they remained. And they rocked... acoustically.

Now it appears they've grown bolder. To reunite all three as one is to risk eternal damnation. many times has Led Zeppelin given to the world, now the world must give back. The three must not reunite. We must take what they have given us, some of the greatest rock ever made, and teach it to our young ones. Bring it into our homes and schools. They have sacrificed much to give us what they have, let it not be in vain. Surely, the world does not need them to suffer more for us to appreciate what we already have. Click Here To Read More On "Led Zeppelin Reunites, the Devil Squeels With Glee!"!

Vote With Your Dollar

Like a lot of people, I at one time stole a lot of music and movies. It didn't seem like much of a big deal, the artist wasn't really losing that much money and I would pay to seem them in concert. And I wasn't the only one. Most of my friends did the same thing to the same artists. What we never considered at the time was the music that was being bought and the people who bought it. I'm talking about all of the crap you hear on most mainstream pop radio stations. I'm talking about all of the crap you hear on most mainstream rock stations. And I'm talking about all of the country music you hear on most country music stations. While my friends and I were blaring our stolen music, laughing about how we screwed the man, we were shoving the big floppy dildo of irony up our own asses.

You see, my generation created what was arguably some of the best, freshest music since the 60s. We had Nirvana, Jane's Addiction, The Pixies, Nine Inch Nails, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, Tool, and so many, many more. And for a brief while, Rock under the guise of "alternative", was king. It was a period of time where record companies couldn't sign bands fast enough to satiate the hungering masses who had been starved on a diet of hair bands and pop singers. But then things changed, as they tend to do. There was a saturation of similar acts. The record companies and the media both over-hyped "Alternative" and "Grunge", not realizing that people wanted good music, not labels. The people who bought Nevermind were the same people buying Nothing's Shocking and Pretty Hate Machine. Those were three vastly different forms of music. What they had in common was that they were really damn good. Then the Internet boom came, and we the fans finished what the record companies and Rolling Stone Magazine had started.

It's not that by stealing music we forced artists into day jobs. I think the first new CD I stole was The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails. Since then NiN has released two full length Cd's, a remix CD, and toured the world a few times over. And they (Trent Reznor) are still kicking ass. But by not purchasing the music and not requesting it on the radio, we have neglected our most important duty as fans: the duty of advocacy. Not just advocacy for a particular artist or style, but an advocacy for quality. A record companies sales are listed in dollars and units moved, not star ratings. You can rant all you want about how some musician or singer is total crap, or how another is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but if it's not written in cash it doesn't mean a thing. They don't care. The record companies don't care what sells, so long as it sells. The media doesn't care what they push, so long as someone buys it. And frankly, most of the public doesn't care, so long as they've got what everyone else does.

Every time I downloaded pirated material, I was costing my favorite bands a fan and customer in the eyes of the Record Companies. With each customer lost, the Record Company has less reason to support an act. By stealing music I was effectively telling the Record Companies to stop putting out the music I like. In fact, I was telling them that anything I might like I probably wouldn't buy. So the past few years of crappy music, has more or less been my fault.

Where is this going? Is this a rant to convince you of the evils of music piracy. No. Unfortunately, that battle has probably been lost. And for most people, I encourage them to steal music, because they're probably listening to bullshit anyway. What I'm talking about here is voting with your dollar. Every CD you buy is a message to the record company that someone values their product. The more people who buy it, the more value it has. Every time you steal a song or a CD you're no different than someone who doesn't vote during a government election. We have the government we do, the war we do, because the only people to show up to the polls were Brittney Spears fans, Michael Bay fans, and Country music fans. Every time you steal music or movies you have effectively silenced yourself. You've given up the ability to declare what is good. The only votes being counted are the ones paid for at a retail location or movie theater.

If you're satisfied with a Bush-Cheney government, radio stations that play Paris Hilton "songs", and crappy remakes of the few decent movies Hollywood has produced, then by all means, keep doing what you're doing. However, if you're like me and sick of crap being sold to us in every facet of our lives, then use your voice. Vote with your dollar. The best way, the only way, to say the pop flavor-of-the-month sucks is to buy a Tool CD.

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